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Wednesday, May 2, 2012

101 Ways to Make Everybody’s Day Weirder

1. Midway through the day, change into a

different set of clothes. If anybody

notices, insist you’ve been wearing the

same clothes all day.



2. Answer the phone with an arbitrary

question.





3. Switch all the clothes in someone’s

dresser with clothes from someone else’s

dresser (possibly yours). If they live

together and will bump into each other

wearing each other’s clothes, all the

better.





4. Put things which couldn’t possibly be

mailed in people’s mailboxes, like a glass

of water, or a bowl of popcorn. Write the

address on it and attach proper postage.





5. When you’re about to enter a room full

of people, call one of them on your cell

phone. In a desperate, very serious

voice, explain: “There’s no time to

explain, but I’ve been kidnapped and

replaced with a robot which looks just like

me. Oh shit, I gotta go!” and hang up

quickly.





6. Hide notes that people will find when

they’re cleaning. Suggestions include:

“This note was hidden on <date> and it</date>

took you this long to find it?”





7. Hide a note which says

“Congratulations! You found me! Re-hide

me for ++GOOD LUCK”





8. Put non food items in the fridge. It’s

often very startling to open the fridge and

see a telephone or car keys or something

which totally doesn’t belong there. If

asked for an explanation, say, “After a



hard day, there’s nothing like a

refreshing, ice cold magazine.” or pencil

sharpener. or toilet paper. or tooth brush.

or whatever.





9. Alternatively, hide other people’s things

in the fridge. When your housemate asks,

“Where’s the remote control?” you can

nonchalantly say “Oh, it’s in the fridge.”

Protip: have a change-of-topic or excuse

to leave the room on the tip of your

tongue so as to avoid any followup

questions.





10. Record something short, and put a

few minutes of silence on both ends of it.

Hide your mp3 player + speakers

somewhere with that track playing on

repeat.





11. If you can surreptitiously record

someone and put THEIR voice on the

tape, even better. Hide the recording

somewhere where they’ll probably hear it.

Imagine how weird it would be to hear

your own voice coming from somewhere

unseen, and not be able to figure out

what’s happening.



12. Put up a sign anywhere you want with

an arbitrary question.





13.Skip to work.Especially effective if

your company makes you wear “business

professional” attire.





14.Break out into spontaneous Irish Jigs

in the hallway. You get more viewers

when you do this between 12 noon and 1

PM and do it near the break room.



15.Neck poking is fun. Nobody expects

it, and it gets quit a reaction





16. Inappropriate multitasking:Brush

your teeth while cooking.Floss while

standing at a urinal.Mix n’ match gone

wrong.





17. Sit down in a hallway, aisle, etc.

Someone is sure to ask if you’re OK.

That’s your set up.





18. Use the most inefficient utensil

possible to eat.(Eating Combos or

pretzels out of a bag with chopsticks was

pioneered by Leln and myself)





19. Stop a conversation with “Wait a

second…”, and then see how long it

takes someone to butt in.Act incredulous

when they ask why you said it.Insist you

never did.



20. Insert “Spies are everywhere.” or“The walls have ears.” into otherwiseharmless conversations.



21. Reject arbitrary numbering.





22. Hide a wrapped chocolate bar under

the keyboard of an office/school

computer. In the LOGIN thingy, write “You

win at life. Your prize is under the

keyboard. Delete this message.”



24. When making any long list, refuse toinclude the 23rd item on it because “I’mnot a pinealist.”





25.Go into someone’s office and take all

of their pencils and pens and leave them

a box of crayons.





26. When someone gets up from their

desk at work, put a hot cup of coffee and

a half eaten donut in their workspace.





27. Go up to someone and ask what year

it is. Act surprised and ask who the

current president is. Shocked, say, “My

god, it actually worked!” and quickly

leave.





28. Go in to someone’s computer and

change their desktop background to

either blue screen of death or some

random scary sounding error, then lock

their computer and move the login prompt

where it is unseen.



29.Take up a different social cause

every day for a week.

30.Reply to innocent questions with “It

gives me a hard on.”





31.Stop suddenly and look at your arm.

Hold it up, and stare at it intently while

wiggling your fingers.Begin fingering or

rubbing pressure points with your other

hand as if you’re trying to fix something in

it.



32.Leave a turkey, ham, or improbably

large foodstuff in the office fridge.

33.Bring MRE’s to the workplace for

lunch.





34.Leave note, childishly drawn on

costruction paper saying “I love you

mommy” on the desk of a co worker who

has no children.





35. Cover your hands in plastic wrap and

proceed to shake hands with everyone

you encounter.





36. Have a picture of Richard Simmons

giving a big, toothy Richard Simmons grin

in your e-mail sig





37. If you work in some kind of sales

industry, convince your co-workers your

company needs to start producing the

next big thing:Jenkem.But don’t tell

them what it is, let them Google it for

themselves.



38. Wear latex gloves everywhere.





39. If you’re alone in a room and

someone else enters, immediately leave

and do something else, for example

getting a glass of water. If they talk to

you, talk normally. Continue doing this for

a week.





40.Ask co-workers to help you make a

list of 101 ways to make everybody’s day

weirder.





41. Wear your clothes backwards

(excepting shoes, obviously), and try to

sit in a chair with your face to the back.

When someone asks you what you’re

doing reply “I didn’t know [innocuous

sounding Govt. agency] played so rough!”



42. Take a bunch of helium filled balloonsinto work and give them to people. Later,go around and pop them all. Explain thatyou HATE balloons.





43. If you smoke, ask people if you can

borrow their lighter. Keep it for a moment

as if you’ve slipped it into your pocket

without thinking (us smokers know all

about that). When you return their lighter,

give them someone else's instead. The

more the better.





44. Shred blue paper into little pieces, put

it into a cup and “water” plastic plants

with it.



45. Make a voodoo doll of yourself, walk

up to your supervisor or boss or whatever

and stick pins into it. Fall over groaning

and ask to be sent home.



46. Powerwalk everywhere.





47.Give people batteries, tubes of glue,

rubber bands, or cheap office supplies

“As a way of saying‘Thanks’”, ad-lib

appropriately corny explanation if they

ask.



48. Write down notes on a small stenopad constantly. Stare and jot furiouslywhen anyone questions.





49.Put pictures of baby goats in your

wallet.Approach people and ask them if

they want to see pictures of your kids.



50. Knit constantly.



51. Prank call someone and play their

favorite song at them.





52. Prank call someone and record how

they react. The next day, prank call them

and play back the recording of their

reaction. The next day, prank call them

and play back that recording.



53. Drop a piece of paper into someone’s

coffee that reads “That wasn’t coffee!”





54. Wear a Santa outfit in summer. When

people give you grief over it, reply in a

bad Australian accent that Christmas is in

summer time in Australia.





55. Crazy glue a fake eye to the bottom

of a coffee cup, then offer someone a cup

of coffee.



56. Glue a coin onto a hard floor in an

area that has a lot of traffic





57.Tell people you are a Scientologist.

When people get curious and ask you

questions about it, look uncomfortable

and say, “uh… I’m really not supposed to

talk about it…” and shoot worried looks

over your shoulder.





58. Encourage people to substitute song

lyrics for food stuffs and sing it. For

example “I know, it’s only rock’n'roll, but I

like it” becomes “I know, it’s only sausage

rolls, but I like it”. This is a surprisingly

addictive activity, and people give you the

oddest looks for it.





59. Buy some celery, preferably with a

very long stalk, and put it under your coat

or in your backpack such that it looks as if

it’s growing out of you. Or if it’s in your

coat you could pretend you’re trying to

make sure no one sees it.



61. Hang an official looking “Elevator outof order” sign inside a perfectly functionalelevator.





62. Hang “out of order” signs on things

which can’t be out of order, like chairs

and trash cans.





63. Print out a dialogue, one line per

page. Hang the pages on trees along a

foot path, so that people read the

conversation in order as they walk. You

could use a dialogue from a movie, a

forum, a favorite book, or something you

made up.





64. Make snippets of banal small talk into

“inspirational posters” and hang them

near the office water cooler or similar

social-zone.





65.Mail your friends rubber balls.You

can actually mail inflated rubber balls

through the USPS.You just address the



person on the actual ball.Some lady

came up with this and her company is

called “Have a Ball!”Thought that was a

cool thing.



66.Put a “Wet Paint” sign on a can of

paint.





67.Get several of your friends to change

their ringtones to an obscure, annoying,

and fairly odd ringtone (i.e. something no

one would expect to hear for a ringtone:

“Yummy Yummy Yummy” perhaps.

maybe “Yakity Sax”).Call each other

every few minutes.





68.Wear a wig and refuse to answer to

your own name.If your coworkers

absolutely need to speak to you, take the

wig off and say, “Whoa, where did you

come from?”



69.Buy a really big stuffed animal andsneak it into work, preferably the boss’office.





70.Buy a really big stuffed animal and

wander around with it, pretend that it

doesn’t exist.





71.Bob your head in time with unseen

music.When asked, simply state, “I like

this station.”See if you can get others in

on it to respond “Yeah, they play good

music.”, or “I really like what their DJ’s

choose.”





72. Purchase sweaters or shoes in a

friend’s size and slip them into their closet

when they aren’t looking.



73. Insert strange socks under the sheets

at the bottom of people’s beds.



74. Replace the word “Hand” with the

word “Ham” at every opportunity.





75. Replace all of the objects on a

coworker’s desk with similar, but different

objects.



76. If you have access to a label maker,

label everything, as literally as possible.



77. Bring sack lunches to work, but write

your coworkers names on them.





78. Place really weird “chance

encounters” ads in the local news-weekly,

that specifically and accurately describe

your coworkers or friends.



79.If you have a label maker, label

everything in the fridge “ham”.



80.Take a sharpie and paper and make

facial expressions for everyday objects.



81. Leave a pickle jar with no pickles in it

in the fridge. When someone throws it

away, leave an angry note: “I was still

drinking that!”





82. Arrange full beer-bottles (or any other

unsuspected item) in an easily

recognized pattern on the street and get

some friends to stand around theorizing

to what it could mean.





83. Approach a stranger and ask the

time. If they give it you scratch your chin

ponderously, look down and say

“fascinating, truly fascinating” while

walking away.





84. Ask a non smoker for a light. When

they explain that they don’t smoke say

“have it your way” or “you know you’re

not fooling anyone”, then light your

cigarette with your own lighter and leave

them to it.



85. Phone a random number at four in

the morning. When the poor sod picks up,

icily explain to him that it is very impolite

to phone someone at such a hour, and

that in future, he should have more

consideration. Then unplug the phone

and go back to sleep.





86. Allow co-workers to overhear you in a

toilet stall making enthusiastically

encouraging remarks to yourself whilst

doing a poo.



87. Start wearing one rhinestone glove.



88. Ask someone for a light when your

cigarette is already lit.





90. Put up official-looking signs that say

things like “Please kick door after closing”

and “ABSOLUTELY no incontinence

products in this receptacle”.





91. Start all conversations with “and

another thing…” or some other follow-up

phrase.



92. Give someone crabs for kicks.



93. Name other coworkers cubicles

various cities, and start waging war.





94. Put packaged snacks like jerky or

cookies, labeled with their names, in your

coworkers or roommates drawers.



95. Label things with Shakespeare

allusions.



96. Play Fizzball in Public. (All you need

is a baseball and well shaken soda.)





97. Break into spontaneous sword-fights

in public (boffers.. but shinai with a few

pieces of lacross/hockey gear works

well)





98. Whenever some-one mentions the

words‘Normal/Average’, immediately and

loudly interject with, “There is No Such

Thing as Normal/Average. The‘Average

Woman’ (make sure to use air quotes)

has one point two vaginas, lives in

substandard housing in Asia, and just had

to kill her last duck and throw it away

because of bird flu.”



98. Fake mustache.



99.Offer, no INSIST, on breath mints for

everyone.Watch insecurity flourish.





100.Keep a pair of bongos.Take them

out and lay softly at odd times.Then hide

them and refuse to acknowledge.

101.Caption stationary objects as if they

had personality.  

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