101 Ways to Annoy Your Parents

1. Mime everything you have to say to them*
2. Sing horribly at the top of your lungs in your room*
3. Dance upstairs be sure to thump really loudly when they tell you to stop rest for five minutes before repeating (keep doing this)*
4. When they call you say “In a minute” then never go
5. Pretend you’re constipated in the bathroom, be sure you overact
6. Prank phone call them, keep doing it*
7. Slurp you drink and chew with your mouth open at dinner
8. When you don’t get your way sulk, cry, whine, or go “Please, please, please, puh-leez?”
9. When they give in and take you somewhere after number 8 ask to go home
10. Announce loudly every time you have to go to the bathroom, go to the bathroom every ten minutes (most effective in public)
11. Make them cook you dinner when they’re done say “Oh, I’m not hungry anymore”
12. Later ask for dessert
13. Call them by their first names*
14. Ask them for help with your homework, when they do help pace around the table and complain that you don’t get it no matter how many times they explain*
15. Eventually say that you get it thirty-minutes later call them back for help with the same problem*
16. Clean out your closet but scatter what was in your closet around and leave your room a mess*
17. Play with plastic bags when they’re trying to watch TV*
18. Make them breakfast, burn everything
19. Don’t say “Bless you” when they sneeze, refuse to say it when they insist
20. Insist on learning to play the piano, when they enroll you insist that you want to learn to play guitar instead
21. Follow them around, refuse to tell them what you want*
22. Teach your dad handclap games, persistently always ask to play them
23. Jump on your dad’s back whenever its facing you (works best when you are not heavy/tall enough to brake his back)
24. Play your music really loud when they tell you to turn it down yell “What!?”*
25. Wear clothes that don’t match when you go out*
26. Walk around with your eyes closed, continually bump into them
27. Chew your popcorn loudly when you out to the movies, speak to them loudly too
28. Alternately when you get home talk to them so quietly that they can’t hear you no matter how close they are
29. Let them see all of the bad grades you make in class, still somehow manage to pull straight A’s (make sure you do this right before report cards that way they have no time to call the school)
30. Pretend you’re an alien from a different planet continually ask what things are in your alien language and then get frustrated when they refuse to answer*
31. Swing on their hands when you go out all the time, refuse to cross the street without holding their hand, and don’t let them go down certain isles because of the “scary monster” (works best if you are 11 or older)*
32. Ask them to buy you a lot of books at the bookstore a week later say you’re out of reading material, keep pestering them until they buy you more (you can switch out books for anything else I just used books because this is a reality for me I don’t just do it to annoy them)*
33. Keep them awake asking questions every night*
34. Talk in an annoying accent (if you already have an annoying accent try overdramatically to talk in a less annoying one)*
35. Try to sound smart by not getting to the point soon enough*
36. Don’t get to the point at all keep getting distracted when you’re talking*
37. While they’re trying to tell you something important spontaneously cover your ears and shout “the voices!”
38. Or look amazed and look anywhere but them and say “are you my conscience?” (ala Dory) and then run away to find it
39. Learn to speak backwards, do it
40. Narrate everything (ex: At dinner go: “Eat your food, Dad says sternly to Adrian who promptly continues to narrate everything going on.  Mom rolls her eyes and shovels another giant fork load of food into her maw…” etc.)*
41.  Hop on one foot everywhere you go, always yell at them to wait up*
42. When carrying the shopping bags promptly fall down and say “I can’t go on” (the more overdramatically the better)
43. Constantly pick up things you see on the ground*
44. Call your dad “gramps”
45. When they ask you to do something say “Would you like fries with that”*
46. Pretend you’re deaf*
47. Ask for twenty dollars, buy twenty useless things at the dollar store
48. Or don’t spend it, keep it and say you lost it
49. Ask them where the cereal is, keep saying “I can’t find it” make sure when they come to help you have it in your hand and are still looking*
50. In summer turn up the heat constantly, in winder turn down the air constantly
51. When they complain about how hot/cold it is always pretend not to notice and act overly surprised when they go to turn down the thermostat
52. Ask your dad if he can take you to the lake to swim, when you get there refuse to go in
53. Leave all the lights on*
54. When you talk to them use song lyrics, let them figure out what you mean
55. Learn gymnastics in the living room, be sure to knock into things, and get in front of the TV when they are watching it
56. Practice an instrument/you’re singing when they’re on the phone (works best with a trumpet/opera)*
57. Announce something embarrassing when they’re friends are over (not for you or something that really is embarrassing for you, just something that sounds it)
58. When you’re mom’s cooking set the table then sit at your place and bang the fork and knife hilts on the table with your fists curled around them the entire time*
59. Burp your sentences
60. Constantly tell them about things that don’t make sense*
61. Jump on their bed*
62. Tell them you’re going to sue when you fall off
63. Refer to number 99 of the previous list: talk to them like that
64. Continually say that you’re bored when they ask you what you want to do shrug and announce “I don’t know” when they go back to doing whatever it is parents do keep saying that you’re bored*
65. Do the potty dance in public really obnoxiously, knock into things*
66. When you go out complain i.e. “My head hurts” “I’m hungry” “My back aches” “My knees are shaking”*
67. When they ask you if you have to go to the bathroom say no, when you’re in the car say you have to go when they tell you “I just asked you five minutes ago” answer “But I didn’t have to go then”
68. Drum annoying rhythms on the table at dinner*
69. Listen to your iPod, dance in public, in the car clap out the rhythms and sing loudly, ignore all protests*
70. Spazz out in front of guests*
71. When they ask you to go get something, come back with something else, keep doing this until they’ve forgotten what they asked you for
72. Don’t eat you vegetables
73. Slip food to the dog under the table *
74. If no dog hide it in your napkin*
75. Draw pictures in the dust on the TV screen and other flat dusty surfaces*
76. At night grab your parents’ car keys go honk the horn of the car run and hide
77. Pretend to be a telemarketer, keep calling them under different numbers but advertising the same thing
78.  DVR something in the middle of your dad’s important sports game make it on the farthest channel away from his
79.  Spell out what you want to say to them*
80. Pretend to be your favourite movie character, act like this character around them*
81. When you ask them a question always follow up with “Huh, huh, huh?” or “Do ya, do ya, do ya?”*
82. Click you tongue and continue to do so*
83. When you’re sick act like you’re dying*
84. Tell them you’ll do something for them then say “Actual results may vary” make sure they do
85. Do any chores with loud complaints and fake crying tantrums
86. Do push-ups and sit-ups in walkways
87. When they go out get a friend and tan in the driveway refuse to acknowledge that they’ve returned*
88. Try to scratch an unscratchable itch, get really frustrated and jump up and down all over the room with exclamations of irritation*
89. Volunteer them to do things at school
90. Miss the bus so that they have to drive you to school
91. Ask “What did you bring me?” every time they walk through a door
92. Drum your fingers at dinner*
93. Stay up all night when they tell you not to*
94. Fill the bathtub to the rim, then pretend there’s a hurricane*
95. When they’re in the bathroom (shower’s best) bang on the door and shout “It’s an emergency!”
96. Wear jeans with holes in the knees*
97. Make them drive you back to school to get homework that you “forgot”
98. Don’t say “excuse me” after you burp
99. Don’t get up on time*
100. Only brush your front teeth
101. Wear your clothes inside out

DISCLAIMER: Use these annoyances at your own risk. I take no responsibility for whatever happens to you, your cube, your car or anything else.
Muhahahhahahah