Honest pain

We sat falling
into each other,
a solemn collapsed moment
of utterances colored honest,
condemning the passive
as much as the aggressive.

I rested my chin
in the nape of your neck,
took shade beneath
your tilted head,
and let my whispers
crawl up your spine
until they tingled
all on their own.

“Did you ever love me?”
I have loved
and you were present.
I have loved
our time spent together.
I have loved
my own perspective,
of you,
but no…
I never did.

“Why would you lie?”
I love the truth;
and the touch
of its proven reality
enflames me,
I did not want
to share its caress.

“How could you do this?”
In the same way
I was able to achieve
anything in my life;
I applied myself
to those things
I wanted for most,
everything else
was simply a form
of necessary sustenance,
even your touch
served its purpose
at some point.

“Have you no heart? No soul?”
I listen to my heart,
I protect my soul,
both are aspects
of what you refer to
but could never touch,
hold,
or inspire,
just rest beside
for a portion
of temporal avowal.
I never promised
the forever that was mine
could include you.

“So this goodbye?”
I am already gone.


by Atavist